What it means to be a Proverbs 31 Woman

By Katrina Daroff

"Looking for my Proverbs 31 woman," was the first line on the first profile I opened up upon setting up a profile of my own. After a moment of thought, I swiped the profile away, banishing it and what I considered an impossible expectation back to the ether. A few minutes later I banished the dating app to the ether as well, but that is a different story for a different time.

I called Proverbs 31 an impossible expectation, even though it is not impossible to be, but let me explain why I saw that on a dating profile and decided that was an expectation I did not want to deal with. See, I don't really have a problem with the idea of being the kind of woman represented in Proverbs 31. In a lot of ways, she is the exact kind of woman I to be. The problem I have found is that when people talk about the Proverbs 31 woman they have an image in their mind of a perfect, soft, modest, Christian girl. It's an expectation that is not only impossible to meet but also biblically inaccurate. When I read through Proverbs 31 I see a woman who is strong and formidable and not what most people expect of her. Here is what a Proverbs 31 woman truly is and how you can throw off those expectations and become one.

A Proverbs 31 Woman is...

1) Valued and Trusted.

"A wife of noble character, who can find? She is far more precious than rubies. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he lacks nothing of value. "

I want to be really clear about something here; this woman is valuable because she is valued and trusted. Her value is established before anything else listed in the chapter. She is able to do the things she does because she knows her value and the people around her know her value.

Our value is not determined by what we do but by who were are. The first step to becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is recognizing that we have value because God gives us value and surround ourselves with others who see that and trust us.

2) Reliable

"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.."

The Proverbs 31 woman chooses her tasks ang how to do them. More importantly, she does them with consistency and reliability. That is why she is described as being like the merchant ships. Merchant ships, even in biblical times, ran on a schedule. They were consistent and reliable. The Proverbs 31 woman is also consistent and reliable in her work. No matter what that work is. She selects the tools she needs for it and makes it happen.

That consistency is what allows her to be the next thing on the list...

3) Generous and Caring

"she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants."

"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy."

She does not only work hard for herself but so she can provide for the people around her. She takes care of her family first and then the people who work for her. Working for only ourselves and what we want is fine but the people who work hard to take care of others are the ones we most often admire.

4) Thoughtful and a risk taker

"She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard."

Those things may not feel like they go together but they do. The woman represented in these verses does take risks. She just takes them after she has considered the consequences and out of what she has after she has taken care of others.

5) Not worried about tomorrow

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."

Here's the thing, the elements of the Proverbs 31 woman go in order and repeat over and over throughout the rest of the chapter, but they go in order. She is not stressed because she has been reliable, generous, and considerate, and she was able to be those things because she first knew her value.

And her value is far greater than rubies.

If you ask me, that is not a woman who is meek or soft and everything people expect me to be when they talk about the Proverbs 31 woman. That is a powerful woman who should be feared and one I would very much like to be more like.